This is a true story.  The names have been  changed to hide the guilty and to protect the innocent. Beth has a calm quality; she has very kind blue eyes, a pleasant face, a beautiful smile and the typical eye-catching body of a thirty-something-year-old American girl. My first impression of her was that she was a very attractive, but on the shy side. However, I soon realized that she was anything but shy.  Her personality, when confronted, was that of a mama bear with cubs. I was part of the story and witnessed much of it myself.   Beth tells the story in her own words. Since the tragedies that took place September 11, 2001, things have changed on all airliners. We now have a new improved bullet-proof Cockpit door that locks. It’s so strong that burley firemen with a large fire axe would require more than a few minutes to get into the cockpit. Heaven help the cockpit crew if they are unconscious, and the airplane was burning. It was another early morning departure from the East Coast that pushed off the gate just before dawn. Our circadian rhythms couldn’t have possibly been more out of kilter. It was 3:00 am in Phoenix and 2:00 am if you happen to live on the West Coast like I do. Needless to say that everyone on this crew is operating on less than normal rest. If you are lucky you might get a few minutes more than four hours rest- - - - -if your lucky! We had been airborne long enough to reach cruise altitude and, the cockpit crew called needing to use the restroom. When this happens, the cabin crew has to drop what they are doing and accommodate the cockpit crew. All of this is new procedure since 911.  When one of the pilots leaves the cockpit then the one remaining must be in his seat to monitor the flying of the airplane.   One flight attendant must sit in the cockpit while the pilot uses the restroom.  The pilot either calls or makes a secret knock and the flight attendant who is inside the cockpit opens the door for them. She or he will look through the peephole in the cockpit door in order to ascertain that all is safe and secure before opening the door to allow the pilot in.  The first class flight attendant who was me is supposed to guard the cockpit door from the cabin side.  This procedure takes place each time a pilot needs to use the facility. Usually, both pilots do it one right after the other which saves time giving the cabin crew more service time for the passengers. After the Captain finished the first officer went in the lavatory and did his thing.  As soon as he finished and the flight attendant who was stationed inside the cockpit returned, I decided that I would use the facility myself, in order to save time, of course.  Well, lo-and-behold, the first officer didn’t flush, so before I could use the toilet I flushed it.  I thought to myself that that was rude and unthoughtful.   I immediately placed him in the bone-a-fide jerk category of pilots that I know.   About two hours later, the same scenario took place. I stayed close to the lavatory door to see if First Officer Fred was going to fail to flush again.  Sure enough, Freddy didn’t flush! “Excuse me Fred, but didn’t you forget to flush?” I politely asked. “No I didn’t forget to flush. I don’t flush. I don’t touch anything in there. I did once, and I became ill. I don’t touch anything in aircraft lavatories. Okay?” He replied with all the authority he could muster. “Well, as-a-matter-of-fact, you are going to touch something in there today because you are going back in there right now and flush the toilet!  Why should any of my First Class Passengers have to flush for you? Why should anyone of the crew have to flush for you?” I was peeved. If it hadn’t been for the curtain between the passenger seats and the forward area, all of the First Class passengers could have seen just how upset I had become. I’m sure that they might have heard the conversation, but I hope not. Fred looked at me eye-to-eye and stated, “This conversation is over!” He then called the cockpit via the flight-phone, and the flight attend inside opened the door to let him in. I followed him into the cockpit and told the Captain, “Freddy here refuses to flush, and I don’t think it is right for any of my First Class passengers to have to flush his toilet. I’m not going to flush it for him, and I don’t think any of the crew should have to flush it for him.” Before the Captain could say a word Fred looked at me and stated again, “I told you this conversation is over!” “Okay, the conversation is over. And, now I’m going to lock the forward lavatory and placard it out-of-service. Then when we get to Phoenix, I’m going to hand carry an irregularity report describing in detail what has happened here to the Chief Pilot myself.” The Captain interrupted and said. “Hey, hey, hold your horses, don’t lock or placard the lavatory inoperative.  I’ll go flush right now, and when you get to Phoenix you do what you have to do. Okay?” the Captain said as he got out of his seat.  Then, we went through the whole security scenario again as the Captain went into the lavatory and flushed the toilet.  As he returned to his seat we made eye contact and I could tell that he was a little proud of me standing my ground about the flush. I hated it that the Captain had to get up and flush. However, I was committed to lock the lavatory and placard it out-of-service if it didn’t get flushed, and I wasn’t going to flush for Freddy ever again. I completed an irregularity report, and hand carried it to the Chief Pilot's Office after we landed in Phoenix just like I said I would. The pilots in the Chief Pilots office were appalled after reading my report and asked only a few questions. I really thought that nothing would become of it, but a week or so later I passed the Captain on one of the concourses there at Sky Harbor.  He looked my way with a big grin on his face and said, “Hey Beth. I thought that you would like to know that Fred got called in to the Chief Pilots Office.  I’d be willing to bet that he will flush next time.” The Captain was laughing about the whole thing.  As I look back the event was humorous, although, when it was happening it was serious business!   Three weeks later, I flew with Freddy again, however, I was working the very back of the aircraft and didn’t have any direct contact with him. I did receive a cold look from him a time or two. I checked with the first class flight attendant, and he did flush the one time he used the toilet. Maybe, I did thousands of first class passengers a great service, I hope so. ~Adverse Yaw

This was e-mailed to me by one of my Aviator brothers. Pilots are people who drive airplanes for other people who can't fly. Passengers are people who say they fly, but really just ride. Fighter Pilots are steely eyed, weapons systems managers who kill bad people and break things.  However, they can also be very charming and personable. The average fighter pilot, despite sometimes having a swaggering exterior, is very much capable of such feelings as love, affection, intimacy and caring.  (However, these feelings don't involve anyone else.)

Flying is a hard way to earn an easy living.

Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents the airplane; the pessimist, the parachute.

Death is just nature's way of telling you to watch your airspeed.

As a pilot only two bad things can happen to you  (and one of them will): a. One day you will walk out to the aircraft,  knowing it is your last flight. b. One day you will walk out to the  aircraft, not knowing it is your last flight.

There are rules and  there are laws:

• The rules are made by men who think that they know how to fly your airplane better than you.
• The laws (of physics) were ordained by God.
• You can and sometimes should suspend the rules, but  you can never suspend the laws.

About Rules:

a. The rules are a good place to hide if you don't have a better idea and the talent to execute it. b. If you deviate from a rule, it must be a flawless performance (e.g., if  you fly under a bridge, don't hit the bridge.) Before each flight, make sure that your bladder is empty and your fuel tanks are full. He who demands everything that his aircraft can give him is a pilot; he who demands one iota more is a fool. He who demands everything that his aircraft can give him is a pilot; he who demands one iota more is a fool. There are certain aircraft sounds that can only be heard at night and over the ocean. Most of them are scary. The aircraft limits are only there in case there is another flight by that particular aircraft.  If subsequent flights do not appear likely, there are no limits. If the Wright brothers were alive today, Wilbur would have to fire Orville to reduce costs." (President, DELTA  Airlines.) In the Alaskan bush, I'd rather have a two-hour bladder and three hours of gas than vice versa. Airlines have really changed; now a flight attendant can get a pilot pregnant. I've flown in both pilot seats.  Can someone tell me why the other one is always occupied by an idiot? And my favorite; You have to make up your mind about growing up and becoming a pilot.  You can't do both.  ~found on the internet.  The Author is unknown